Ugh… fuck no… Here we go again…
In a few hours it’s going to be 2017 and I can already hear everyone bandying about the so called “new beginning”.
Bullshit, if you ask me.
Far as I’m concerned there’s only two kinds of people who’re actually excited about the new year:
Doomsday conspiracy fans who’re already masturbating to the idea of the world ending when the clock strikes midnight for the sixth year in a row since 2012 ( seriously though, just how off target are those so called ancient Mayan Calendars? ).
And the deluded type who thinks the new year is going to bring a tide of good fortune, the sun rising and setting in the opposite direction, and animals finally speaking in man-talk. Also they happen to think this would be the best time to get started with the so called “new year’s resolutions”.
New year’s resolutions are a bad joke.
News Flash: If you actually need to wait for January the first to get your plans started we have a word for what you’re doing.
Look, the new year is good and all and it’s the perfect time to change that butt ugly calendar you got as a free gift at the butchery but NOTHING is going to change. NOTHING. For the most part, the exact same variables you went to bed with last night will still be in effect when you wake up tomorrow.
The only major difference is that you’re going to be writing 2017 on most of the dates you’ll be writing.
Tomorrow will be just like any other day.
You’re going to wake up. Go through your day. Take a shit. And go to bed.
So don’t let the new year hype rob you of your rationality.
Okay, now that I have my annual rant done if you’re looking to join forces with me in January to put your marketing on steroids then hit me up over at:
And let’s start next year on a realistic, and badass leaf.
PS- YES, I’ll confess, there IS a reason I’m excited about 2017. The video game Mass Effect Andromeda comes out in a few months and I have the biggest boner for it right now!
Okay, enough of me fan-boying out.
See you next year, my comrade.