“Jay, I don’t want to be an alcoholic any more”
… was what someone close to me said last night.
He wasn’t happy with where he ended up in his life. And knew deep down inside he could be doing better. He continued with his admission:
“I drink to escape. Everyone else drinks to get a buzz, or to get tipsy. But me? I’m drinking to get blacked out. And I hate it.”
… when he said that, I was glad.
Not many have the balls to admit to themselves they’re drinking to escape something.
I then looked him in the eye and asked him where he wanted to be ten years from now. There’s a reason I asked him this… which I’ll go through in a moment. You see:
I had asked him this question almost one year ago when he was in a similar, but slightly worse slump. And back then he dodged the question entirely. His answer being along the lines of him not making long term plans and taking life as it comes.
Clearly he was just trying to avoid the kind of self accountability which came with long term planning.
You can’t call yourself a failure, if you don’t have any long term goals you’re failing to hit after all.
And now, one year later.
I hit him with the same question:
Where did he want to be ten years from now?
It started with a long series of “I don’t wants”. Like…
“I don’t want to be living here”
“I don’t want to be doing X”
“I don’t want to be doing Y”
… and so on. I had to stop him after the fifth or so “I don’t want”.
Because saying I don’t want is about as good a game plan for life… as saying “we are not going to lose” as a game plan for a game of football.
Of course you’re going to take action with such a plan… but to what end?
Problem with the whole “I don’t want” approach to goals is how it creates massive amounts of momentum which really don’t go anywhere.
It’s real easy to say you don’t want to be in a certain position, resulting in you accepting ANY solution to your problem no matter how bad it is.
This unfocused momentum is the reason why people who focus on solving their problems without an end goal usually just end up with more problems to deal with. It’s also why I believe people who tell themselves they don’t want to be poor any more…
But never really have a solid goal financially…
Will almost always end up squandering their eventual wealth on a mountain of hookers and coccaine… not exactly in that order.
And the same thing applies to your emails.
If you’re not giving your customers a set goal to work towards… or a set “promised land” you’ll guide them towards…
You’re essentially creating directionless momentum with your subscribers.
They have energy, they have excitement… but they have no clue where to take it.
Next thing you know that energy and momentum is going to be used on someone else’s products because THEY have a promised land to offer.
Harsh, but true.
But enough of that.
Till the next wave of madness… Vae Victis